Counting.

My brother Andrew recently needed surgery on his mouth to pull a substantial number of teeth. In the few days leading up to the event, my mother kindly explained to Andrew that the doctors would be putting him to sleep to perform the surgery. She told him that the doctors might ask him to count backwards from 100 and before he knew it, he'd be out cold. "So," she asked, "can you count backwards from 100?" "Yeah," he retorted. "100, 99, skip a few, 1." Now that's one smart kid.

Welcome.

I would like to take the time now to cordially welcome this precious establishment to Northern Utah. My dearest sentiments are passed your way. Granted I'll be leaving the area shortly, but this place of fine dining will be welcomed just as warmly now as it would have been 4 years ago (actually more so now, since I didn't touch hamburgers 4 years ago and needed the sister Lauren to convert me).

WELCOME.

And as a final note, please add carrots to that list of rude foods discussed below.

I'm famous. A nerd, but also famous.

Yo, check this out:

http://marriottschool.byu.edu/news/release.cfm?article=491

The testing center: the new dining hall.

Students love bringing food into the testing center, the trend is ubiquitous. And can you really blame them? Tests are hard and everyone needs a little sustenance to get them through that long examination.

However, it shouldn't be hard to understand that certain snacks are more appropriate for the testing center setting than others. Think it through really hard. You see, the testing center is quiet. Really quiet. Certain snacks are very loud to eat. Such snacks should and must be discarded before entering the peaceful sanctuary that is the testing center. To name just a few of these raucous treats: chips of any form, corn nuts, and . . . Subway sandwiches. First, to even get to that tasty slab of bread and meat, you have to peel through roughly 14 layers of paper, every piece echoing its crinkling noise throughout the testing center. Once the paper has been removed, each bite consists of chomping and tearing into those fresh and very crisp veggies. Not to mention the smell that wafts to all those around the sandwich eater, causing a rippling effect of stomach grumblings.

So let's desist from the chips and corn nuts and Subway sandwiches and pretty much any other treat that makes excessive noise when eaten. Next time you're at the vending machine, tempted to buy those tasty Doritos to help you through your exam, why not think about some other food form? How about like a bag of fruit snacks? Maybe one of those Chewy granola bars? Or why not just a marshmallow? Those snacks all sound lovely.

When I graduate, I'm taking a trip to Florida.

I have now been gypped of a free trip to Florida TWICE this year. Apparently it’s not meant to be. You see, the economy has been going through a little downturn, I’m not sure if you’ve heard. So two normally scheduled trips for fancy pants accountants like myself have been cancelled. The first time was understandable; I got over it quickly enough. But the second time gets a little disheartening. Oh, I’m not complaining; I am very grateful for my internship and my job. And of course my team’s FIRST place finish in the Deloitte national tax case study competition, with the prize winnings of $2,000 PER person (I’ve turned pretty hip, no reminders necessary). All that stuff is great. I’ve just decided, when this whole thing is said and done, I’m taking my trip. I’m seeing the sights. And I’m going to Disneyworld. I'll probably fill out one of those expense reports, too; just a heads up. I figure the firms can split it 50/50.

Florida can’t avoid me forever.

Classmates.

Sometimes people are pretty funny.

Today, intermixed with listening to a rousing lecture on foreign currency exchanges in my advanced accounting class, my friend Michelle and I were chatting via gmail. Who knows what kinds of oddities were discussed, but eventually we came around to the idea of starting a club, complete with club shirts, secret handshakes, and even nicknames. "What do you want your nickname to be?" I asked her. She took a second to respond, so I looked over at her computer (yes, the chatting was done while sitting right next to each other). That's when I saw a google search up of "Top 10 Stripper Names." Perfect location to find the desired nickname, I suppose. Best comment? "BYU is blocking all the good name sites." Interesting find. Thanks, Bambi.

Later in the day we were discussing how funny it was that we call all our teachers simply by their last names, as if we're all on a football team. That's when Ian piped up, "Yeah, next thing you know we'll be tapping them on the butt, saying, 'great lecture, professor.'" The mental image was too much to bear.